As I write this, I realize that this is great reinforcement of the importance of being a part of the Church - the body of Christ. Being in fellowship and worship with other believers rekindles the light of the Holy Spirit within us. Away from the body, we begin to fade back into focusing on ourselves, which is exactly what was happening to me. I was beginning to try to take back control of my life, rather than seeking and obeying God's will. Despite the fact that I work for the church, I was overwhelmed by stress and dread of some of the duties I had to fulfill. I was an emotional nightmare to my husband. The joy and peace of God was not flowing through my eyes, my words, my actions.
A couple of weekends ago we went to visit my in-laws in another town. As we were driving home after our visit had ended, it occurred to me that I often act like a completely different person when I am in their home than I do when I'm in my own home (and not in a good way, but in a slightly more lazy, less concerned for others' well-being kind of way... What's up with that?!) They do not attend church, and they tend to focus on a lot of negative things in life. It drains me, and I don't enjoy being with them for long periods of time. But that's not the kind of person I want to be. That's not "serving where you ARE."
I want to be consistent and stable, and overflowing with the peace, love, and grace of God - to be the way God intends me to be - regardless of my environment or my present situation.
My brother-in-law is in the Army and has been serving in Afghanistan. He was scheduled to come home sometime in June. Since he was enlisted, I hate to admit I have not done much to support him in Christian love. We sent a couple packages to him, but even that wasn't consistent. I think we sent a total of 2-3 packages over the last 6 years, and they often didn't arrive by Christmas as we had originally intended. We had never made an intentional effort to welcome him home when he arrived home for leave. But this time I was convicted. It was very clear to me that we needed to be at the Army base when he arrived. My husband didn't even think it was very important to be there to welcome home his brother, but I knew that it was.
I was persistent about this one, because I knew that this simple act of driving 2.5 hours to welcome him home would show him with a real action (not just words, saying that we love him and support him), but by making a sacrifice to be there in person for him. And it did. We only actually saw him for a total of maybe 20 minutes. But it didn't matter - it was more than worth it. He was so incredibly humbled and thankful that we had taken time away from work to welcome him home. And we were so grateful that we got to share in that special moment with him, and that he got to hold our daughter, his neice, who he hadn't seen in many many months.
I am making these declarations regarding my relationship and my role with my in-laws:
- I do believe that there is a reason that God brought me together with my husband.
- I do believe there is a reason I have become a part of this family by marriage.
- I do believe that I am to serve God in all places and all situations.
- I do believe that God loves every single person regardless of their appearance, their attitude, their sins, or anything else.
- I do believe that I make a difference in people's lives.
- I do believe that it is up to me to allow the Holy Spirit to work through me.
