Kickin' it in high gear

Busy Busy Busy!!!

I spent all morning at Office Depot getting our information binders put together and all set for printing. Even with all that's been done so far, we will have several other things to be printed that we'll have to manually add to the binders on site!

It's just part of the job... getting ready for these meetings is crazy at the end. There are so many things that just can't be done ahead of time. And even those that did get done ahead of time sometimes change at the last minute...

I know it sounds crazy, but I have to admit that it's fun... My head is absolutely spinning (and has been all week) with all the little things that have to get printed, copied, shipped, cut, communicated, etc. etc. etc... but I know that it will all fall into place with the very capable assistance of the Holy Spirit.

My house is a WRECK....

I hate that this house is such a mess right now...

The floors are disgusting. The dishes need to be done. The toilets are gross. The bathtub is moldy. The office is a disaster. There are baby toys everywhere. The puppy has peed on the carpet numerous times. Ick... Ick... Ick...

The good thing is I don't feel like a worthless incapable mom/wife for letting my house get to this point... and I kinda used to do that... But I know that if I don't get it looking better soon, it's going to drive me nutty. Hubby will be home tomorrow, so I've given him some assignments and am hopeful that he will complete them. :)

Today was an extremely busy day at work. Only 11 days left until our big meeting. Made lots of headway, but brain feels like mush.... time to get some rest!

Meal Planning

Over the past few weeks, hubby and I have started trying a new process... Each Sunday we come up with a meal plan for the week... I had heard of this idea before and thought "I'm not that disciplined. There's no way I'll ever be able to stick to something like that..."

But I must say, after trying it for a few weeks, it has been extremely helpful! I used to always dread that inevitable question when talking to my hubby on the way home from work... "Baby, what's for dinner????" Now I have this new found freedom, because every evening (well, most evenings anyway - we're not perfect, and not even going to try to be) I know what we're having for dinner!

The other cool thing is that because we plan ahead a little bit, we're able to make some really yummy and different things! In the past our menu typically consisted of only those things that are easy to pull together at the last minute (you know, like sloppy joes, chicken sandwiches using frozen breaded breasts from Sams, frozen pizza... that kind of stuff).

Recently we've had exciting things like Chicken Fried Venison with seasoned pan-fried potatoes, Carribean Jerk Pork Chops with cheddar broccoli, Bacon-wrapped stuffed Venison round steak, Fried Crappie with fried okra and onion rings from scratch... I'm talking some really good stuff!

It's a great day!

It's not a pretty day outside today, but it doesn't matter. Today is a great day... I can feel it... I am energized by the message from Joyce Meyer that I listened to on the way to work this morning (from her Approval Addiction audio book)... Love yourself! Keep on keeping on... we often become successful through our failures... man, that's great stuff. I love it. God sends so many amazing messages through Joyce Meyer, and I am most grateful for those messages! Her ministry is helping me to grow by leaps and bounds.

I love my work... I love my family... I love my life... I am so blessed in SO many ways. I am filled with the grace and peace that can only come from the Holy Spirit this morning. Today's scripture on my daily calendar is:

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19

Amen!!

Procrastination & ADHD

We have our big meeting coming up in 2 weeks for work... holy cow, I can't believe it's that close! I'm amazed at how these things sneak up on me... as if I haven't known it's been coming since I started this job back 8 months ago... Working for the church, we have everything planned out in for-year cycles, so I know these things are coming... Twice a year we have a big meeting, of which I am responsible of many of the details such as communications, creating and printing materials, shipping items to the hotel, etc. Fortunately I don't have to arrange all of the travel & accommodations for our members, but I do have to double check to make sure all members have their accommodations arranged.

I've learned this procrastination thing is a very common trait of ADHD, which I was recently diagnosed with. Funny how having that diagnosis is kind of helpful (because it gives it a name) but yet it doesn't really help the struggle with it!

Medication -
I tried Vyvanse first, but it didn't work well for me... Not only did it not really help me focus, I couldn't sleep while I was taking it! Not a good thing for a working mother of a toddler not to be able to sleep!

I am now on Focalin, which seems to be working fairly well. I'm not sure it's the best solution yet, but I'm hoping to use this blog as a tool to be able to look back and see progress or not, whichever the case may be...

Prayer for today:
Lord, thank you for the work you have called me to do, for the talents you have given me to complete this work. I am so grateful for all of the blessings you have bestowed upon me and my family. Please watch over me today and guide my hands, so that the work I do might glorify you. Help me to focus on the "Big Rocks" that need to be done this day, so that this upcoming meeting will be well organized and run smoothly.... not to glorify myself, but for the sake of aiding the work that these committee members will do at this meeting, to further your kingdom through the United Methodist Church. Amen.

Journey toward Financial Peace

We... well, I have been doing Financial Peace University through our church. Dave Ramsey is AWESOME. He teaches the most basic lessons on managing money, and yet so many of us are absolutely terrible at this stuff! Our society teaches that it's actually a good thing to have debt... amazing how well they've tricked us all into believing the lies.

Anyway, we're in week 8 now, and have been making some pretty great progress with our personal financial situation. (Even though hubby has only joined me for one class, he's pretty much on board with the goals.) I have created a cash flow plan (budget), and it's really helped to shed some light on the way we've been spending our money...

Here's just one small example - I calculated that in the few months before we started this class, we were spending anywhere from $700-900 a month on food (restaurants & groceries). Now that we're actually using cash (the envelope system) to pay for these things, we spend no more than $500 a month on food! ... wow, $200-400 a month... that adds up FAST!

There are a few worries here, like getting my husband to join me in this envelope system thing - he keeps using his debit card for fast food, and that's not way it's supposed to work!

...but mostly I'm excited about the process of beginning to get a handle on this money thing! This class has been a HUGE blessing to me...

Go to www.daveramsey.com if you want to look into a class near you! And I promise I'm not getting paid to put this plug here - I'm just REALLY passionate about this! :)

Setting Family Boundaries

We've been studying boundaries in my Sunday School class for a few months now... This has been something I've know I needed to do for a long time, especially since we had our baby...

Recently I got in a huge argument with my mom, because she kept asking me questions about things my husband felt, said, etc. (Specifically, this was related to a business venture that my dad started up, and he hired my husband as a contractor... and mom was made CEO of the company.) There were a couple conversations in which I tried to gently explain that she or dad needed to talk to my husband, rather than talking to me about these things... but she would just get angry that I was "withholding information".

It finally all blew up when she called me one morning and asked me if he was going to work that day... and I told her I didn't to be in the middle of it. She responded "Too bad! You are in the middle of it"... and I said, no, I'm drawing a boundary here... She proceeded to yell at me, so I hung up on her, believing that I didn't deserve this treatment. I cried as soon as I did it, but I knew in my heart that I had done the right thing.... finally, after all these years, I've drawn a healthy boundary with my mom....

That night we talked some more, and she told me that we've been spending too much time together and that we need to allow some more space. I thought that was good, and I agreed with her. She also expressed to me that she felt taken advantage of in regards to babysitting our daughter. (She's always expressed to me that she loves spending time with her granddaughter and seemed to want every opportunity she could get... Who wouldn't take advantage of that?!?) I told her that I was glad she told me, that I was glad she was setting a healthy boundary with me! She didn't like my response... I guess I didn't get emotional about it, she felt like I didn't care or something.

The really freeing thing about all this was that it was the first time I can remember not caring what she thought. I knew I was doing the right thing for myself and my family (and ultimately for my relationship with my mom too), and it felt great!

Since then, mom and I have talked as though nothing even happened... which I must admit worries me a little... I am praying that God will help me to be strong and reinforce this boundary thing each time it comes up!

MRI #1

Yesterday we took my daughter to have her MRI done. The half hour leading up to it was filled with anxiety, much of which was self-induced. I woke up about 6:30am (needed to be at the facility to fill out paperwork at 7:45am -- this did NOT give me enough time to take care of the animals, get a shower, eat breakfast, get the baby changed and ready, and get loaded into the car. I skipped the shower and just threw on some jeans and a t-shirt. Didn't even put in contacts. I was already starting the day off track...

We left the house at 7:45, and it's a 10 minute drive without traffic. I got to the facility, and there are 2 buildings that are connected (but of course they have the same address). Of course I went into the wrong one (would've been nice if someone had given me a heads up about which one it was). I was not happy... Said a few choice words that I know I shouldn't have said. It was now 8:00am, the time of her appointment, and I had to load the baby, diaper bag, purse, etc, back into the car so I could drive 5 seconds to go to the other building.

Fortunately my mom had gotten there a little earlier that we did, so she was able to start filling out paperwork. No one said anything about us being late, so it wasn't a big deal.

They put her under anesthesia (gas), which only took about 20 seconds to put her to sleep. The test took about 45 minutes. She was pretty groggy after waking up, but she did well overall. She had her first sucker ever, which she really enjoyed! She was so cute - she knew exactly what to do with it!

MRI #2

Took our daughter for her 2nd MRI yesterday morning... This one didn't take quite as long as the first one, so she came out of it quicker from the anesthesia too. We were home by 8:30am and hung out for a couple hours before heading to her appointment with the neurologist.

The good news is it’s not a large mass or tumor or anything like that. The bad news is, we still don’t really know what it is… There’s what appears to be an enlarged vein in her brain, but there’s no way to know at this point if it’s just a part of her development and will go down on its own, or if it’s something called cortical dysplasia… which if that’s the case, that would be causing the seizures.We will be doing another MRI in the next 3-6 months to check it again and see if any changes have occurred. Until then, it's just keeping up the anti-seizure medicine and praying and hoping that all will turn out ok...

At this point I don't even really know what I'm feeling or thinking about all this... I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and yet somehow still filled with the peace of God. He truly is an amazing God... I can't begin to comprehend how moms can survive these types of things involving their children without faith in God. Without Him, I would be nothing. I would be a pitiful, emotional wreck.

Fear of the unknown

Today I got a call from the pediatric imaging facility, telling us that we need to bring our daughter back in for a 2nd MRI, with contrast...

OK... so what does that mean? The guy who called didn't know of course.. he was just calling to schedule it. So I put a call into the neurologist to get some more answers as to what they're seeing/looking for...

Got a call back from the nurse this afternoon, and it's still clear as mud... She says there are "increased signals" in a certain part of the brain. In order to see better what's going on, we have to do another MRI with contrast... this has been scheduled for next Wed, 4/22.

Puppy Love... and Puppy Stress :)

Our family has grown by four paws! I admit it was somewhat impulsive, but we got a new puppy for Easter...

He's only 6 weeks old, and he's quite rambunxious... but he's a real cutie! We had been talking about it for a while, because our 2 year old black lab has seemed kind of lonely... and wouldn't you know, some friends of ours from church just happened to end up with one of those unexpected litters of beautiful mixed-breed puppies (aka "mutts") that they needed to find homes for....

Thus, here we are... our lab isn't sure what to think of the little guy yet, but hopefully they'll warm up to each other soon.

I'm not sure this was the smartest thing to do right now, because it really is like having another newborn baby in the house... another thing to add to my physical exhaustion... but, we made the decision, so now we must face the consequences and take good care of the little guy. We are crate training him, and he's not quite making it through the night yet... but it will get better.

In a way, I think it's good training for us to see what it will be like when we decide to have another baby. Our daughter already gets jealous when I'm holding or playing with the puppy instead of her!

Seizures are no fun

Yesterday my 14 month old daughter had a seizure. It wasn't the first one she's had, but it was the first one that was not caused by fever (they call those "febrile seizures"- she had two of those a few months back). We learned that those are fairly common, but now that she's had this one unrelated to fever, it's got me pretty worried.

She is our first child, our beautiful baby girl sent straight from heaven for us to care for... and it seems like it's been a constant battle of sickness since she was born... Sinus infections, ear infections, RSV, and now seizures. Why does God let thess things happen to such perfect little ones, who can't even tell you what they're feeling? It's not fair.

I am emotionally and physically exhausted, and yet I know that I am supposed to "cast all [my] anxiety on him, because he cares for [me]" - 1 Peter 5:7