Serve where you ARE

I've been getting several messages over the past couple of months in regards to serving others. Scripture says "we are refreshed by serving others"... specifically, I've thought about working at a battered women's shelter, a homeless shelter, or in a prison ministry. A place where people are experiencing pain and who are in dire need of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I've been feeling called to share the message of hope, peace, and faith, that God has brought into my life... to speak with individuals and share my joy with them, to share my testimony with them, to pray for them and reassure them of the love God has for each and every one of them.

Sounds wonderful, but there's just one problem... TIME. I am a mom of a toddler, a wife, co-chair of my church's Hospitality Team, and I work full-time... In give each of these things the attention they deserve, I can NOT commit to anything else that will take me away from them.

But there is something I can do... there is a very special way in which I can fulfill this specific calling. I can serve people WHEREVER I AM.

Now that I've realized it, it sounds so simple... I don't have to seek out a specific ministry or program to belong to or to volunteer with... I can BE a ministry. My own ministry...

Instead of going wherever I go (like most people do, myself included), focused on myself and the things I need to get done... I can actively seek opportunities to be a witness for Christ to the people I encounter each day.

Prayer:
Lord, help me to recognize the opportunities you place before me each day, to get over any fears or reservations I have as a human being and talk to the people I encounter. Help me to be a witness for You in this world... to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh.

Walking in the Spirit

After I left our meeting, I headed to the airport. Throughout that evening I felt as though I was truly walking in the Spirit. I had a number of encounters with people, with whom I shared the light of Christ.

#1) I crossed paths with one of the members of our group several times before we went through security. I was glad he waited for me on the other side of the security booth. We both had some time before our flights, so we decided to grab some dinner together.

His was one of the perspectives in our meeting which tended to see many of the negative aspects of the group. I felt there was a reason God brought us together for this time... so that I could share my positive "rose-colored-glass" perspective with him.

We ended up having to wait 20 min for a table, and then enjoyed a casual relaxed dinner... and spent a total of probably an hour and a half together. When we first began talking, I heard nothing but negativity and felt lots of tension in him.

Throughout our time together we shared personal stories and testimonies of ways in which God is working in our individual lives, and by the end of our time together, his demeanor was completely different... I saw the light of Christ shining in his eyes!

I believe we were both refreshed and renewed by our time together.
It only gets better from here...

#2) After hugging him goodbye, I went over to my gate. I sat next to another member of our group, who happened to be on our same flight, and on my left were 2 complete strangers. When the member sitting to my right (who I knew well), left to go to the restroom, I looked over into the eyes of the two men on my left and gave them a big smile and said "Hi! How are you?"

The smiles that these men responded with undoubtedly showed me they were grateful for the friendly hello. I found out they did not know each other, and we chatted briefly. One of them was headed back home from a business trip, and the other was headed to visit his sister and deal with estate issues after a recent death in the family. I shared with them that I work for the church, to which the latter of the two responded "That's great! Spread the Word!"

He was an older man, somewhat heavy, his hair balding on top, and with a long pony tail down his back. He did not look the type of person I would normally associate with or talk to... but what a wonderful conversation we ended up having! He clearly had a strong faith, and knew many Bible verses, but he had not been involved in a local church in recent years. I could see and hear in his voice that our conversation stirred his spirit, and he talked about wanting to get back into a church. I am praying for him that he finds the right one!

#3) On the airplane, I spoke with the man seated next to me. He was a middle-aged white man, who had also been traveling on business and was headed back home. He seemed somewhat timid and reserved, but we had a pleasant conversation. I found out he attends a Catholic church. We shared some stories regarding parenting and the struggles/ worries involved, and we both expressed our personal feelings and beliefs that God provides the strength we need to get through these parenting struggles.

At one point, he shared with me that his son, now 22 yrs old, had suffered from sleep apnea. He now uses a c-pap machine (or however you spell that?), and the result is an amazing difference in his energy level! There it is... a message from God, sent through another member of the Body of Christ...

You see, I have reason to believe that hubby suffers from sleep apnea. We recently spoke with a doctor about it, and even scheduled a sleep study. However, we ended up cancelling it because of the expense (not to mention the fact that hubby really did NOT want to do it... out of his comfort zone). Sounds like we need to move forward with it afterall.

#4) Earlier in the evening, when I was at dinner, I saw a man who is a member of my church back home. He had been traveling on business, and was waiting to get on the same flight I was on to get back home. Coincidence??? I think not. I think God had a plan for bringing us together too, as he did with the others I've already mentioned...

I had asked my mom to pick me up from the airport and take me home that night, but now it suddently occurred to me that this fellow church member would already be at the airport and would probably be willing to drop me off at my house! Sure enough, when I asked him, he said he'd be glad to help.

Again, he is a person who I've felt some pretty negative, not-so-hopeful vibes from. I was especially energized, and when I got in the car with him, I exclaimed "I'm on fire for God!" I shared a few things with him that I had learned in our meeting, things our church is doing to further God's kingdom here on earth. I don't really know what our conversation did for his perspective, but I know I did my part. I planted a seed... it's God's job to water it and help it grow.

#5) To get to my fellow church member's car, we rode in a bus. The bus was pretty full, so I held on to a bar and prepared to stand for the ride. Immediately, a hispanic gentlemen stood up and offered his seat to me. I thanked him and sat down next to another hispanic man.

I smiled and asked the man sitting next to me how he was doing. He said he was doing great, and his smile was great! We chatted a little, but nothing deep, and at one point he pulled out a book he was reading... something about Latino Ministry... so I asked him what he did for a living, and he told me he works for the church (actually, for one of the conferences within the same denomination as me!) How cool is that?!? Turns out he actually knows my boss and some of the folks I work with...

All of his happened in just ONE NIGHT.... It blows my mind to think about it.... It is truly AMAZING how God can work through each of us and connect us to each other, if we will just open up and let him... if we will just let go of our fears, and allow ourselves to open up to the stranger sitting next to us!

If we will walk in the Spirit, instead of in the flesh....

The calm after the storm

Last week was fast and furious... incredibly exhausting, and yet energizing at the same time... I guess that's how you know you're in the right place...

The people at this meeting inspire(d) me in so many ways. Of course, there are some really negative perspectives out there, and a lot of complaining tends to happen at these "church meetings," but I tend to see the good.... I think it's good to vent, to share frustrations and talk things out. You can't really accomplish anything unless you do that!

The conversations that took place filled me with excitement, passion, and hope for the future. The constant responsibilities I had kept me moving each day, beginning at 7:00am and ending about 11:00pm. Yes, long days, I know... but I really did enjoy it! I was serving others in one of the ways for which God created me. I admit I whined a little about the exhaustion, but I don't know that I ever stopped smiling!

Now that it's over and I'm back home, I'm feeling quite different - kinda depressed really. Although I have much to do to get organized from all of the stuff "accomplished" at the meeting, it's so quiet, and I miss the crazy hub-bub and the interaction with all the people. Some people are completely drained by these types of meetings. I am the opposite... I believe they are where I shine the brightest.

Prayer for today:
Lord, please remind me and fill me again with the passion and hope that I felt while serving at the meeting last week. Energize me to keep the momentum going, so that I may complete the tasks and organize the things that need to be organized, in order that our group might be able to truly accomplish the goals they established at their meeting last week. Guide me, Lord, through each moment of this day. Help me to stay focused and deliver me from the temptation to be dragged down into feelings of depression. You are my hope, my strength, my healer in all things! AMEN.

ARGH...

Various frustrations going on right now...

1) Hubby just informed me that the freezer door was left open overnight, and everything in it is not even cold... in other words, ruined.
This is extremely frustrating, especially since we're short on cash at the moment, and we had a LOT of venison steaks, sausage, frozen pizzas, fish, etc out there.

2) I have a hospitality team meeting tonight. I love being a part of this group, but every time I have one of these meetings, my hubby gets irritated and gives me a hard time because it takes me away from home on a weeknight (which means he has to be in charge of the princess and the pets).

3) We are BROKE at the moment. Kind of ironic really... Financial Peace University inspired us to use our debit card instead of credit card. Trouble is, our income doesn't always come in at the right times to be able to cover all of the expenses we incur right away.

Hence the reason we got hit with an NSF fee last week... Fortunately, I called and they were gracious enough to credit it back. But then last night I sat down and went through the checkbook again and found that we're already almost back to that point again! I know Dave Ramsey would advise against it, but I've resolved that we must use our credit card to keep from getting NSF fees.

I will still do the envelope system for groceries, restaurants, clothing, etc. But I will use my Visa credit account to pay for things I can't avoid or change (medical costs/prescriptions, Vet bills, and tolls/gas). We'll see how that plan goes...

Feels good to vent...

Approval Addiction

I kind of had an epiphany this morning... (I mean I guess I knew it before, but today I really admitted it openly to myself...)

I have been addicted to approval from others all my life, but especially from my mom.

I remember times when I was younger when mom and I would have an argument, and it would completely ruin my day. I didn't feel right again until I had talked to her and apologized for whatever it was I had done (or didn't do), and had once again regained her approval.

Since becoming a mom myself, I have begun to care less about what my mom thinks. But I still relaps from time to time. This is such a hard thing, because mom and I have always been very close. I've always been able to tell her everything, something for which I am extremely thankful!

Growing up means not telling mom everything. I now have to make wise decisions about what I can and can't talk to my mom about.

I have learned that I cannot talk to my mother about these things...

1. issues concerning my in-laws
2. my relationships with my husband
3. things my husband does that bug me

The first one I have nailed down now, and have actually had a conversation letting mom know that I will not talk to her about these things. The second two I am still working on. It will take a lot of prayer and constant effort to train myself to not talk to my mom about these things.