Family Drama

My mother-in-law has moved in with us again, but this time I have a different mindset about it. I believe that God is going to keep bringing this situation into my life until I learn how to correctly deal with it... So, here are my resolutions for this time in my life:

• I resolve to TALK TO her, rather than about her.
• I resolve to ASK for help when I need it from her.
• I resolve to LOVE her like Jesus does.
• I resolve to ENCOURAGE her and BUILD her up, especially in regards to her relationship personal with God.
• I resolve NOT to let BITTERNESS take root in my heart.

She moved in on Friday evening, and today is Wednesday. That means we've made it through 4 full days together, and so far things are going well. (past the 3-day rule :))

The hardest part has come in relating to my own mother... On Sunday we had a disagreement. My parents took the princess for the afternoon. They picked her up at about 2:00pm, after church and lunch. I made the mistake of not talking through time expectations on the front end. So when 5:30pm came around, hubby and I were casually talking about our plans for the evening. We decided to go ahead and go pick her up so that we could get on with dinner and the rest of our Sunday evening.

When I called mom to let her know I was on my way, she was very surprised and upset that they didn't get to keep the priness for longer. When I arrived, the finger pointing began... Already she associated this situation with my mother-in-law, who had nothing to do with the decision to pick up the princess. I didn't know what to say, so I really didn't say much at all while I was there.

I gave her some time to cool off and called her the next day. I told her that I wanted to clarify with her that there was no ill-intention in the situation that had ocurred. We were simply trying to move on with our Sunday evening. To my surprise (and relief), she didn't give a response. She just said "Ok," and we got off the phone.

This morning she called me and was ready to talk about it. She explained how hurt she was by the situation and told me she had cried all night on Sunday. I told her that that was not my fault, that only she can control her feelings and responses. All was said in a very calm voice, but I also told her that she was acting like a child, and I had taken away her play toy. Of course, she didn't enjoy this conversation in the least. (But she did refrain from yelling at me, which was an improvement over the last time!)

Then she confronted me with a truth that convicted me, which I definitely needed to hear. She told me that I had "thrown her under the bus" by exposing her thoughts that she had shared with me in regards to my mother-in-law. She was right. I already knew this, and in fact had already apologized to my mother-in-law for that very thing. What I didn't realize was that it was actually doing more harm to my own mother than to my mother-in-law. I apologized to her and admitted that I knew I had messed up. I hope she can forgive me, and I hope that God will help us to somehow get out from under this mess. Whatever happens, I have the peace that God is with me through it all.

God is GREAT! ALL THE TIME!